The Ropes [2430-2-3 Mon 1:30 pm]

[Failyn]

Iod suggested that Derek wouldn't like it if she continued doing things like running to get tickets for customers. Something about not paying her enough to do things. But doesn't an employer normally want as much work for as little money? Failyn would have assumed that Derek would like her better for it.

This lead to a dilemma. Who is more important? The customer or the employer?

She took Iod's plate while contemplating this, completely missing whatever he was saying.

Yes, the employer hired her and ran the business. But wasn't it the employer's job to serve the customer as well? Or did the employer only serve themselves, the customer be damned? Had Derek hired her to help the customer or to work for him? She supposed that would make a big difference in how she served people. Yes, she would still treat the customer with the utmost respect, but if Derek came first...? Hm.

"Does Derek work for himself, or for the customer? And after you have answered that, did he hire me to work for him or to help the customer?"

[Iod]

Iod would have paid to know exactly what was going on in Failyn’s head. She seemed to be having entire conversations up there that didn’t involve anybody else, and came to really odd end points.

“Derek works for himself, and you work for him. But nobody here works for the customers.” It was easy enough to answer, and was pretty important. You could tell Failyn hadn’t ever worked food service or retail before, because she hadn’t yet realized that customers were the enemies, and the one thing standing between her and having a good time at work. “Our job is to help the customers, but only if we’re helping Derek by helping them. So, let’s say somebody comes in and orders a Danish and a slice of cheesecake. You give ‘em what they want and take their money because the money goes to Derek, who pays us.”

“But let’s say somebody comes in, orders all that food, and then doesn’t want to pay. Do you let them have it for free just because they’re a customer?” Iod posed what seemed like a rhetorical question, but was far less rhetorical than it sounded. Failyn probably wouldn’t get as much of that over here, but the restaurant side always had jerks trying to send back their mostly-eaten dinners to try get it comped, whether it was actually bad or not, “Hell no! If they want something, they’ve got to pay for it. The only thing free in this join is a smile, and you don’t even have to hand those over unless you want to.”

“Or let’s say some jerk comes in here and pays for his food and grabs that booth back there. But he’s making all sorts of noise and bothering every other customer in the place. Did he pay? Sure. But he’s making everyone else leave, and we’re losing more money than we’re keeping. That’s when you come and grab one of the guys and we’ll ‘encourage’ the customer to get the hell out.” Iod was often the best ‘encourager’ in the place. It seemed like he ‘quit’ every few weeks like clockwork to get rid of loud, drunken belligerent jerks. Humans were the worst. He had no idea what Terra was like, but judging from how Humans acted, it probably sucked. “Anything that costs Derek a lot of money is a bad thing, even if it’s helping a customer. Just remember that if you’re having a dilemma.”

[Failyn]

Customer service seemed to like an odd thing to go into if you didn't want to help the customer. But whatever. If it was her job to serve Derek, then she would.

Serve Derek... she mentally impressed this idea into her brain. This was her job, and she would do the best she could to see to it. Derek wants the cafe taken care of. So Failyn would take care of the cafe. She grabbed some cleaning spray and a rag and began cleaning the counters.

"You aren't very good at this "serve Derek" thing. You've been sitting around this entire time not doing anything. You could have been mopping, or doing dishes, or flirting with the pretty girl in the third booth to get her to come back. Unless you aren't working any more and are training me for the fun of it?" Failyn realized that the wet counter would leave streak-like marks and instantly was amused. She started moving the rag around, making pretty pictures with the streaks...Coffee cups, pie pieces, hearts, stars, wings....They weren't good pictures, but SHE thought they were pretty - barely noticable though they were.

[Iod]

"Of course I'm good at serving Derek. I haven't picked fights with any of the customers, or scared you off, or done all the other bad things I'd do if I weren't on the clock. You've got to think about the big picture." He grinned, and then got a bit distracted watching her draw pictures on the counter. Failyn seemed less and less like a real person, and more like one of the princesses that his mom had told him about when he was a kid. Of course, Failyn had wings instead of a gold-scaled tail, but you couldn't account for that sorta thing up here.

"Anyway, the restaurant is dead at this hour. I'm helping out by letting Titanian get all those tips I'd otherwise be fighting her for. She's got a kid she needs to eat, and all I got is myself." Iod paused, glancing around to make sure nobody else had heard him say that. He had a reputation to keep up, "But don't mention it to her. She'll get all bend out of shape over it since she doesn't want anybody charity. It's easier if she thinks she's whooping my ass at everything."

[Failyn]

Aww....Iod was secretly really sweet. Failyn smiled to herself. Then, not wanting to ruin Iod's I'm-so-tough game, covered it. "You couldn't scare me if you tried, love." She laughed. She was going to have fun getting to know Iod. If she did get to. He did technically work in the restraunt, after all. She only worked in the cafe. They might not get to see eachother much at all. That thought was sobering. She stopped drawing pictures in the streaks, and instead grabbed a mop.

So...technically she didn't know how to use one of these things...But there was a first time for everything, right? And she had seen other people use them...And a bucket had to be filled with water. At a guess, she ducked under the sink, and found the bucket. She proceeded to fill it three fourths of the way with water (forgetting about the soap). Awkwardly setting the heavy bucket on the floor, she put the mop into it. When she picked the mop out it was streaming with water. Remembering seeing someone else doing it, she tried ringing the end out (which is a much harder and awkward endeavor than she'd thought - trying to use both hands to wring the end while keeping the handle from going every which way), and then set the mop down on the floor and moved it around.

After awkwardly repeating this a couple times (spilling water every time), she finally slipped, and crashed to the floor, spilling the bucket of water all over the floor.

And what did Failyn do? She laughed. She was compltely soaked, and absolutely cracking up. "Well I guess that didn't work," she giggled. And then cupped some water out of a puddle, got up, and dumped it on Iod's head, laughing again.

[Iod]

"Don't write checks your mouth can't cash!" Iod grinned, glad that she hadn't picked up on his real reasons for ditching work. Plus, why would he want to try sneak Titanian tips when he could be over here, watching Failyn try to figure out how to use a mop. He didn't bother correcting her, just watching Failyn as she tried to figure it out for herself.

It was a comedy of errors, and Iod had to fight not to snicker like an asshole. He hadn't seen anything this funny in a lot time, and he wasn't quite able to keep from snorting softly when she started ringing the mop out with her hands. By the time she dumped the bucket all over the floor and landed square in it, he was a bit red in the face. Once she started laughing, he lost it too, laughing like an idiot at Failyn looking like a wet hen.

"Oh now you're in trouble!" He said when she dumped the water on his head, and grinned as he just picked her up. She was heavier than she looked, on account of the wings, but he still got her off the ground without a struggle. Iod managed to sling her over his shoulder and headed for the back, "That's it, we're adding you to the menu. I hear humans like deep-fried chicken, and you're close enough for their tastes!"

[Failyn]

Despite the fact that all winged persons have hollow bones, andFailyn was extremely skinny, even for a winged person, the wings made up for the weight, making her heavier than she appeared. This was only one of the reasons she hated being picked up, and Failyn immediately started squirming, trying to get free. If not for the worry for Derek's shop, she'd spread her wings and MAKE him drop her...But the cafe would be ruined.

"People are not allowed to pick me up!!" she protested.

"That's it, we're adding you to the menu. I hear humans like deep-fried chicken, and you're close enough for their tastes!" Failyn was so offended she stopped squirming.

"Hey. I'd taste much better than a chicken, thank you very much." Realizing this didn't much help her case to be put down, she started squirming again. She hatedhatedhated being picked up. It was definately-

Her thoughts cut off as one of her hands brushed his hair. Soft!! Her eyes widened in fascination. "You have really soft hair!!!" she said, comletely forgetting the being-picked-up thing in her delight. She started petting his head. It did occur to her that he might not like this, but he HAD picked her up, which she didn't like. And his hair was reallyreally soft...

Didn't he care she was getting him all wet? She had only put a bit of water on his head. Her clothes were stick-to-her soaked (which was, by the way, a little uncomfortable).

But the thought couldn't hold her attention when faced with Iod's soft hair, which she was still petting.

[Iod]

Iod didn’t let Failyn’s squirming stop him, though he did listen carefully to make sure she was just annoyed by him picking her up, and not actually terrified. There was a fine line between teasing and being a real asshole, and while Iod strolled across it plenty, he liked Failyn enough that he didn’t plan on charging across it on purpose.

“Oh yeah? Well how good would you taste then?” Iod straight-up flirted with her, unable to resist such a perfect set-up. But the set-up was tossed right out the window as Failyn started petting his hair. He couldn’t help but laugh, doing his best to sounded offended, even though he wasn’t, “Hey now, I’m not some catfish! That ain’t going to work on me!”

He strolled into the kitchen, still carrying her on his shoulders. Most of the cooks ignored the intrusion, used to Iod’s shenanigans, or too busy to spare time to boggle at them. Iod picked an empty work station and set Failyn on it, not caring that carrying around had gotten his shirt just as soaked, “Now Birdie, before I go write up our new specials on the board, are you white meat or dark meat?”

[Failyn]

Wait...what did catfish have to do with soft hair? Catfish, to the best of her knowledge, didn't actually look like cats. So they didn't have fur - they still had scales. Was she wrong? Did the catfish really have fur? That would be a funny looking fish...And if it didn't have fur, that would make even LESS sense. (Failyn obviously didn't understand the concept of idioms very well, especially those she was unfamiliar with). Scales could be pretty rough, so that could hurt. And Failyn was fairly certain you wouldn't hurt yourself touching something soft, like Iod's hair. So that must mean catfish actually had fur, right? You'd think that'd be inconvenient. Failyn didn't know a lot about either swimming or evolution, but she was almost positive that hair slows people down, and that if catfish were slow, and noticable (she was assuming here that fur underwater was rare enough that it would stand out) that they would have died out a long time ago. Unless they had some freakishly high reproductive levels. But that seemed unlikely...they would still have died out after a bajillion years, right?

"Now Birdie, before I go write up our new specials on the board, are you white meat or dark meat?” Iod asked. Here, at least, Failyn figured he meant something other than literally. But not knowing exactly what he meant she had to guess. And she guessed that it meant something along the lines of whether she was good or not. Humans had this whole white vs. black equaling good vs. evil thing...And Failyn didn't know what else Iod could be referring to. Unless he did mean it literally. But THAT would just be weird.

"I suppose it depends on the day. And you got a last question, so I do to," Failyn decided, like every rule in the world was hers to make. "Catfish don't really have fur...do they?"

[Iod]

Iod laughed. He couldn't help it. Failyn was like a black box. Questions went in one end and answers that made sense in some parallel universe came out the other. It was amazing. Iod really wanted to make her start narrating her thought process outloud so he could follow along with it, but if she did, then that might ruin the offbeat surprise at the end.

"No fur, but they've got whiskers and they love a good belly pat," Iod grinned at her, not making it clear if he was telling the truth or not. "I had one when I was a little boy, until it got nearly as big as me, and then we had to let ol' Whiskers go on his merry way. He's still out there now, looking for mouse-fish to eat, and dog-fish to run away from. Or Birdies to snatch out of the air." He punctuated the last sentence by poking Failyn's nose.

[Failyn]

Did they really have all these fish hybrids? Because that would be so cool. If Failyn had wished to go beneath the water before, now she really did. It was be beautiful and mysterious and...She so wished she could see. But alas, she she could not. The whole wings-would-drag-her-down-and-she-would-drown thing was a powerful deterrent against going for a swim.

And Iod had a pet catfish? She hadn't even known you could have a pet ANYTHINGfish. Failyn had never had a pet. She had friends instead. She would never assume that the animals she liked were any less than she was. Did Iod think the catfish was less than he? Or was "pet" just a name for any animal that gets along with people? She had heard humans call eachother "pet"...Failyn didn't get it. You'd think that was derogatory, but the humans didn't seem to mind.

"He's still out there now, looking for mouse-fish to eat, and dog-fish to run away from. Or Birdies to snatch out of the air." Iod touched her nose, instantly causing her to scrunch it up. She felt a wound in her pride.

"I can fly MUCH higher than any dumb ol' catfish can jump, thank you very much," she grumbled. She was a good flyer. Not the best ever, but good. As for height...she would fly higher than most winged people would, because she liked the adventure of it. "No catfish will eat me!" she re-emphasized. "It's much more likely one of the gryphins will come and snatch you out of the water, Mr. Iod."

[Iod]

“Oh yeah? I’d like to see one of those griffin try. I’d give them a bit of the one-two.” Iod put his dukes up and shuffled around a bit, pretending to fight a griffin with fisticuffs. He knew it looked ridiculous, and that’s the entire reason he did it. Iod swam too deep for griffins. They’d drown before they got a hold of him, in the same way that a catfish, no matter how great of a jumper, wouldn’t be able to get hold of Failyn. But reasonable answers were for chumps. “One sock right in the beak, and I’d have enough feathers to make my own set of wings.”

“Is this part of the training now?” A voice interrupted. It was Derek, sticking his head out of his office, “Or is there some other reason you’re both soaking wet?”

Iod grinned at Derek, knowing exactly how to handle his boss, “Part of training! I’m teaching her how to get the big tips! Hey, what do you think about Wet T-Shirt Tuesday? That’ll double my tips!”

Derek just shook his head, unable to hide his smile, “Get her a uniform so she’s got something dry to wear.”

“Yes boss.” Iod saluted, standing back so Failyn could hope down. “Come on Birdie. Usually only us restaurant guys get the uniform, but your run-in with the bucket means you get to take home one of our amazing shirts, and maybe a skirt if there’s any kicking around.”

[Failyn]

It was nice that Iod and Derek got along so well. It would not be fun if you didn't get along with your boss. Failyn didn't really know Derek well enought to know whether she'd get along with him...Though the fact that he wasn't mad that she got wet made her think more favorably of him. She'd heard of some pretty mean bosses out there that would fire people for less.

Derek stood back from the counter, so Failyn jumped down, repressing the natural reaction to spread her wings to balance. Wings+NonWingedpeoplekitchens=bad. In general, anyway. There was the occasional exception. Well, she hadn't seen one, but it was in general wrong if you put an absolute in a sentence.

“Come on Birdie. Usually only us restaurant guys get the uniform, but your run-in with the bucket means you get to take home one of our amazing shirts, and maybe a skirt if there’s any kicking around.” Another sentence that made no sense.

"Skirts don't kick," she felt compelled to point out. "If you were a customer, I wouldn't say anything, but you aren't....Anymore, anyway....If you bought something else, I'd happily agree that skirts kick!" She felt she should add the last part. She didn't know why, she just thought it would be a good idea. Getting people to spend money was a good thing, yes?

[Iod]

“You can kick while wearing a skirt, and the skirt does what you’re doing, so skirts can kick!” Iod reasoned, shit-eating grin on his face. Now this was a logic problem he could follow along with, “And you’re still allowed to disagree with me even if I am a customer, you just have to be polite about it.”

Iod grabbed the box of spare uniforms and sorted through them. All the winged-people uniforms were near the bottom, with an assortment of holes in the back of the shirt to make room for various wings. Iod estimated Failyn’s size and handed her two shirts to choose from, “Here, pick whichever one fits you better. And hey, what do you know!” Iod picked a skirt out of the box, putting it on top of the shirts.

He grabbed his own spare shirt from his locker, and realized he should probably make sure Failyn didn’t start changing right in the kitchen. She was kinda spacey, and it seemed like something she would do. He pointed to the washroom, “Go on and change in there, and then we’ll hang your wet stuff up.”

[Failyn]

Failyn still figured that the PERSON would be kicking, not the skirt. But before she could bring this up, Iod had headed off for the spare uniforms.

The arguement, however, was instantly forgotten as Iod handed her some clothes - two shirts, to be exact. Looking at them, she was FAIRLY sure the smaller one would fit...It looked about right. She was just about to take her shirt off to change when Iod turned back to her with the skirt - obviously pleased at having found it.

"Go on and change in there, and then we’ll hang your wet stuff up.” Failyn didn't know why she had to change in the washroom...It was rather small in there, and there was no one out here to see her anyway. (Iod, apparently, didn't count, as it never occured to her that he should. Apparently, already Iod was just Iod, and it didn't particularly matter to her what he did and didn't see. Not that she particularly cared about people in general, but she did TRY to stick to society's ideas of acceptable behavior.) But Iod was the Mr. Boss Guy After Derek, so she went into the washroom and changed. Quickly. She hated confined spaces...Too much like cages. And cages were bad.

When she got out of the room, she realized something. "Hey Iod...Shouldn't I have changed AFTER I finished wiping up all the water?" It seemed to her that her new stuff would get wet all over again. And changing more than once is just bothersome. Really.